I beg to differ Mr Grey
by icicle dn
Summary: Sweet, kind, innocent does not define Miss Steele. You will find her plotting and scheming here. Even before her pair of crystal blue meets the piercing gray she wants something from the billionaire. She is ready to get low and dirty to achieve what she needs. Can there relationship started with a lie be any good? Will Steele tempt fate now that shades of Grey is in her life now?
1. Chapter 1

Hey readers. This is my first fanfic ever. I hope you all enjoy it. Happy reading…Do leave a review about what you think. All kind of perceptions will be warmly welcomed.

Chapter 1. You never know.

I don't do dates. Unnecesary increase in heart rate, futile release of adrenalin and all other such illicit activities associated around romantic dating churns my stomach and seriously tests my gag reflex. Mother was right. It is a perfect way to waste time. Why did I not consider it years ago! Atleast for now I have a definite goal. My next and most important target:

Target: CHRISTIAN T GREY

Status: SINGLE

Occupation: CEO, Grey Enterprise holding. Inc

Hmmhmm…This particular billionaire has enough money to fund my project and buy governments approval. If everything goes according to plan there is still hope for the future . Instead of rotting and throwing pity party for the numerous rejection I have received throughout the year for investment in my project ,I can actually plan for an alternate path…..Seducing overweight, balding billionaires could have been much more easier than a young, attractive bachelor who has females all around him eager to lick his feet, but it goes against my ethics. I don't believe in breaking homes. That's my only ultimatum. Otherwise I am by now open to all kind of options. Luckily for me there does exist 27 year old billionaire cum bachelor in this planet. Phew! That's all I ask GOD. The rest is upto me.

It has been almost 9 months since I abandoned my research and relocated here in Seattle. I have been grooming myself all these time as per requirements I think are needed for the task. Collecting information on the TARGET'S likes & dislikes had been more difficult than I estimated. Internet has been of zero help. This man protects his privacy like a kangaroo's pouch. Trick and tactics which I used to obtain the particulars were not my usual style. I even had to pretend to be in love with one of his body guard for few weeks to squeeze out informations. Atleast it also turned out to be a good practice for the upcoming similar challenge. Thankfully that bodyguard was content with only kissing. How did he even believe in my lie that I wanted to save my virginity for the marriage night is beyond me!...I guess he was just too stunned to have met a 24 year old virgin in this generation. Anyhow I got to save my V- card which I am sure will prove to be a great asset. Pure, innocent virgin, only his to belong…. Mr. Grey can you resist that huh? Well Sex will be something that I have to learn on the job itself. Can't experiment with the V-card on. It is too precious and my greatest weapon. Other than that I have taken care of most of the obstacles. Taking classes on business management and hobbies which he indulges in have been a smat move. This way we can have more common grounds to socialize in. Losing all those genetically-cursed extra pounds have done magic. Now I more than literally know what "darkening gaze of lust" means . An additional baggage,specimens of Y- chromosome seem to thrust on me these days.

Well now back to my no.1 problem of the day- 'dating'..For the greater good I have to indulge in it. "why can't we not just meet and negotiate arrangement for marriage? Like those extinct arranged marriages?!..would have saved us both a lot of breath. Anyways I have to deal with this right away. Kate, my neighbour seems a fitting mentor. Shehad come over a few times to drag me out of my apartment but I had always been busy plotting and had always been friendly and I have maintained atleast a decent relationship with her to ask her for this favour. I think I will call her now.

"Hey Kate, Its me Ana, your neighbour. Are you busy? Care to join me for drinks tonight?"

"Hey Ana!...I am just heading out to a restaurant with few friends. Why don't you join us too?!" Kate shrieks

Hmmhmm…Lets see. I wont get to talk to her privately with her friends around. Maybe I can pick up a trick or two on flirting by observing.

"Okay, I would love to join you guys. Anyways I was rotting in my apartment. Give me 5 minutes to change"

"Yeaaaa! See you In five."

I change into my regular jeans and black top. Nothing special for tonight. My job is only to observe. After exactly 5 minutes my doorbell rings. There stands Kate in my door wearing a sexy mini dress in animal prints and knee-length leather boots. She has heavy make-up and chocolate brown lipstick on. I think i look like a peasant near the Queen of the jungle. Immediately I regret my decision to not put any effort in my clothing. My messy hair tied in a bun is another story. Before I could say anything she grabs my hand and pulls me out of my home. I look back once towards my heavenly door, when I am again pushed in a car.

"Sorry, Ana..no time to waste. My date is getting highly impatient waiting for me. I had been making him wait for more than an hour now. We only recently started dating so I had look my 's why the extra hours for my hair. You know, Bait has to look good to get the prey for once and forever hooked ". She slaps her thigh in the last word and winks at me.

Oh my! Woman of my own skin. I think tonight will turn out to be more fruitful than I expected.

We reach at the bar and my mouth automatically twists.

Freaking shit! I though we would be going to some sweet little restaurant by the side of the road and not this sleeky steep building where the car has stopped. I climb out of the car and suddenly a man almost double my size picks me up from the back and yells "KATE"!...

"ELLIOT! Put her down. I am here for god's sake. You don't even recognize me. Does your brain shrink each time I meet you!" Kate yells louder.

"Oh…I am so sorry baby.I thought it was you. I was just so excited to see you for the past god- knows how many hours !" Elliot apologizes. With that the half- giant literally drops me on the ground and sweeps Kate off her feet. Well now atleast its official that tonight I will be as invisible as the dust particles floating in the air around us. Never mind.

"Baby! Put me down, people have started to stare. Let me introduce you to my dear friend and neighbour ,Ana"…Kate waves towards me. "Hi. Ana, nice to meet you. I am Elliot. Sorry about the mistake earlier."

"It's okay. Anybody will lose their wit dating someone as gorgeous as Kate". I give him a broad smile. He looks at me with lost eyes for sometime while Kate blushes obliviously at my comment.

Huh! Is it happening? Are all those social skill classes I busted my ass at for my "target" finally working? Did I just make a guy gape like an ape by only moving the right facial muscles despite me looking like shit…okay ..silly!..its no biggie. Just don't feel so happy already.

"Its good that you brought her Kate as my brother will also be joining us soon. I wanted to discuss something with him before he leaves town tomorrow" Elliot announces.

Once again I find myself being pushed inside. Within minutes of entering the charming hostess escorts us to our table. This half-giant must be someone with good connections, as the restaurant looked overflowing with wealthy- dressed customers yet he managed to get us a table in no time. We ordered our dinner and conversations flowed smoothly between Kate and Elliot. I sat like a hawk, observing them. They seem unaware about my prescence. Good.

After an hour, my brain fried to boredome. I can understand about Kate but how can Elliot also be so much into women clothing? Either he is putting up poker face to appease Kate or he is secretly gay. Yes that must be it. To distract myself I looked towards the fancy family sitting next to us. They all at the same time looked towards the entrance facing my back. The daughters trying to whispher but rather squealing with excitement. Huh?...I turn back to see a attractive man with wavy- copper hair walk straight towards me.

"Finally, my brother is here" Elliot announces, as the source of all the commotion stops right next to me. My breathe freezes on its path and my stomach cannot be. The man who had been in my mind straight from dawn to dusk for the past 9 months. About whom I had been carefully planning our first 'chance' encounter. And by now in my dreams I was "happily" married to by now.

"Christian Grey" I whispher loudly before I could take control of myself.

"Yes, that will be me" my target replies with a smirk.

I drop my head, wishing to turn into that invisible dust. I had always day-dreamed that he would be in MY position in our first meeting. That my wave of sexiness will force him to take several steps back. My less than revealing black dress will make him salivate for more. My crystal blue eyes will make him begging down in his knee. Now looking down at my fidgety hands I can do nothing but mock at the irony. I would never have let any date of mine take me out in the outfit I am wearing right now let alone The Christian Grey.

What else to do? I bite my lower lips…..


	2. Chapter 2

… Chapter 2.

**This is a shorter chapter. Enjoy reading. Do leave a review sharing your thoughts.**

Nervously biting my lower lip I scold myself…_Get a grip Steele! You can still turn the table around. Nothing is lost yet. Atleast now you can honestly call your first meeting a "chance" encounter. Silver lining. _

"Ana, Christian- Christian, Ana" Elliot waves his hands like a magician opening the first show of the night and introduces us.

"Nice to meet you, Ana" Christian says and extends his hand forward for a shake.

I nod my head in reply with downtrodden eyes. "Nice to meet you too, Christian". I am unable to look up to the face I had been obsessing over for the last several months. Something like stage- fright is attacking me big time. I take his extended hand into mine and that's when it happens…Jolt of current strikes me like a crashing shore, my head shoots up and then I meet those piercing gray eyes for the first time. Everything around me dims except for those dominating, alluring, intimidating pair of gray. The windows with so much depth in it that one cannot reach close enough to even have a glimpse of the soul lying behind. I have a sudden urge to plunge myself into all its glory. For the first time in my life I am hypnotized.

_Uhh-uhh Ana, Not only he can see right through you but also he can read your thoughts, dig open you're buried past and control your future. You are his to play with, my dear, you are hypnotized by him…My heart composes its own crazy theory. It had stopped opining months back when I divulged into this mess but now it looks like its coming back with vengeance. _

In my mind the throne of the magician is now officially snatched from Elliot and crowned to the real monarch standing opposite to me.

A sharp intake of breath by my beholder brings me back to my senses. _Huh!...why did he do that? Did he also feel it?...hmmhm..We should never leave each other's hands… A good handcuff should do the job._

_Jeeeeeeez Ana! Don't lose control .Slipping right now is not an option open for you. Remember why you are here in the first place? Do you need reminder about what's at stake if you lose your bet here? _The few rational neurons fight with rest of my brain which apparently seems to easily escape the bony skull and float in the air around us.

"And Christian here she is, my lovely girlfriend Kate" Elliot announces with all pride and glory. He gently drops my hand to take Kate's extended one. My hand slowly descends along with my brain from its trip to the outer galaxy. After the introductory gala is over we all take our seat. Christian takes the empty chair in my right. Good. He will be facing towards an aged couple on the next table by the wall. No eye-oggling monstresses to distract the alpha male from me.

"Elliot, you should have booked the private dining hall." Christian admonishes,looking around the place with distaste.

_Oh! Mr. Grey will you always remain so private?. Let the world also be blessed with your view once in a while._ _Even baby joey comes out of mama kangaroo's pouch when its time_. _Hah ! Still I have managed to invade what you so dearly protect . _I cannot help my sarcastic thoughts.

"That place seems haunted. It is much better and jollier here. Stop cribbing and enjoy what you got little brother" Elliot remarks. Christian glares at him. Elliot shifts back in his chair and holds the part of the chest where his heart is with both his hands. He pretends like Christian's eyes just shot bullets and it struck him right in his heart.. "My.. last.. wish.. is…" But before he could complete the caricature I burst out with a full- belly clenching laugh. Kate and Elliot looks at me with popped eyes. I had maintained a quiet demeaneour till this point of the evening. Though it was meant to be funny maybe they didn't see this reaction coming from me. I look towards my right to find Christian throwing daggers at me with narrowed eyes. His jaw is clenched and he rubs his chin with his index finger in disdain. I feel like I am reprimanded like a small kid only for laughing. "Did you find it Sooo amusing, A-N-A? He smirks with a raised eyebrow. This does it for me. "Oh god! Just take a chill pill!" . It came out in a bit more irritated tone than I had meant. Now it was my turn to be surprised as Christian too burst out laughing, only his being slightly less loud than mine. He covers his eyes with his hands as though he is not able to look at my face which I am sure is the reason of his laughter.

_Great! First I look like ugly duckling in front of him and now in the same night I have also managed to appear like a clown too. Every man's dream girl is right here…Bravo. Bravo._

" Ana, are you all right?" Christian asks in between his laugh when I am unable to keep straight face. I try my best and copy his patented narrowed eyes look back at him_._ This sends another wave of laughter with Kate and Elliot too joinng Christian with equal enthusiasm now. Looks like it was humorous. I too can't help joining the good- natured laugh despite having this sinking feeling in my stomach.

" Ana, you have no idea of your achievement! You have made The Christian Grey laugh aloud for more than a minute. I have been trying to do this since the day we became family but with no success. You will always have large place in my heart till death do us apart" Elliot declares this and put his right hand in his heart like a form of salute.

"Well then I have been a very good girl. Don't I deserve a reward from the benefactor himself" saying that with an extra purr I put on my brightest smile and turn my body completely towards Christian. My back arches slightly protruding my bosom. _Time to try my moves,,,__Perfect Stance….1..2….ahhh there it is_

Christian's eyes darkens as he watches me seductively from top to bottom. _Drink me in Mr. Grey…Whatever you see was made only for your eyes. _I twirl my hair in my fingers, feigning innocence. Unfortunately my moment Is short lived when his phone rings.

"Grey" he snaps on his phone without a blink of an eye. On hearing the person on the other he shifts uncomfortably.

"Just wait there for a while. I will reach you in 10 minutes. Next time simply listen to me and kindly take the private jet." Christian instructs the person on the other end.

"Elliot, Mia called. Her flight landed an hour before the schedule. I have to go pick her up right away. "Christian grumbles to his brother and looks towards me sharply. I try and make an attractive pouty face.

"I have not forgotten about your reward Ana. Will you join me for dinner tonight? I will try and please you in the only way I know." Christian asks with a wink.

_Huh? What does he mean by only way I know?...i am sure its something vulgar. Just look at his face!...It's not going according to how I wanted but if I have learned something from tonight is that even a carefully crafted plan might not work sometime. I have to take some risk._

"Ok Sir" I give him a slight smile and blush. _Why am I turning into a tomato? Cute has to do for now. I will show him what sexy means tonight._

"You didn't give me your full name, Ana" Christian tries to make an accusatory tone.

"Its Anastasia Rose Steele"

"Anastasia-Rose-Steele" Christian repeats punctuating each word.

"Lovely name for an adorable lady" Christian says with a shy smile. Blood rushes to my face.

He does not wait for me to reply and moves towards the exit. On the way he takes out his phone and dials a number. I could only hear him saying

" Welch….


	3. Chapter 3

**Enjoy reading!. Do leave a review sharing your thoughts.**

Chapter 3.

_Welch, Welch? I know this name...hmmhmm I will get it if I think hard enough.. Oh Yes! Mr. Welch Burner..Christian's private detective. Why did he call him immediately after knowing my full name? Does he want my background check like he does with all his employees? Dear Mr. Grey, trying to get an upper hand huh? I know you that much by now to get two steps ahead. Go and send your best detectives but You will never know my secrets_.

"Elliot, Christian did not take my number. How will he contact me with the dinner plans?" _I have to be careful even though I am sure in no time this Welch guy will report to Grey with an entire file on me._

"Why don't you give it to me and I will make sure I pass it on to him" Elliot hands his phone to me.

"Thanks" I take his phone and save my number.

Rest of the evening I let Elliot and Kate enjoy each other's company while I lie back on my chair and review my own performance. I had made terrible mistakes tonight.

has to be the worst one. How on Earth did I not recognize this half-giant as Christian's brother, Elliot Grey? I had seen few pictures of his and even by-hearted his bio data! Now that I look closely he does look very different in real life .He is more tanned and has a completely new hairstyle than the one in his photos. Must be the effect of his recent vacation to Barbados. Plus I also never expected my neighbor to be dating Mr. Moneybags brother. Humans are so quick to judge and draw conclusion that they fail to observe even if the solution is right beside them.

Ever step outside your apartment without taking a double- take on your appearance. You never know whom you will encounter.

not allow others to laugh at your expense. Belly clenching laughter may make you feel happy but god- knows how unattractive your face must be looking doing that!

some kind of meditation or take medication to get rid of this anxiety. You cannot work with all the butterflies hovering here and there in your stomach.

After dinner we head back home. My mind is clouded with "grey" thoughts.

Mr. Grey is such an enigma. He is never seen with any female outside work except his family members and sometimes with his mother's close friend Elena Lincoln. There were also rumors flying around that he might be gay. This distressed me a lot. I manipulated one of my gay friend whose parents are in the same social circle as that of Christian's to go and approach him in one of the party. I made him believe that Grey will immediately like him if he tries his sexy moves on him. A curt "Young man, I am not Homo" was all he received.

Still I was not convinced till one fine day when I was driving past Escala and I saw a woman coming out of the building crying and looking utterly dejected. On closer look I was shocked to find out it was Leila...we were bff back in high school but lost contact when we left for college. I immediately stopped my car in the building's parking lot and ran after her.

"LEILA!...wait ..It's me Ana. Remember?..What happened to you? Why are you crying?" I hug her tight trying to console.

"Ana I don't know what to do? I did everything in my control to please him. I don't know how to live without him anymore. Please let me die"

"shhshh..Don't speak like that. Everything is going to be all right... Who did this to you?"

"Fucking Grey!...Monster..Son of Devil...You will rot in hell!" Leila yells at top of her voice. My hair stands on its end hearing his name.

"shsshhhh Leila..Please let's get out of this place first then you can shout as much as you want. My car is there...Please Leila.." I drag her with me.

Inside the car she cries her heart out. We drive back to my place. I decide not ask her anything until she calms down.

"Ana, I am so sorry. We are meeting after so many years and I trouble you with my problems"

"It's okay Leila. You don't have to be sorry about anything. If you like to share your problem with someone I am always here."

"It's just that my boyfriend broke up with me today. I would have liked to share more with you but I am sorry I signed a non-disclosure agreement. He is a rich guy and likes to protect his privacy... Ana I would like to leave now. Please do not mind. I would like to go and get some sleep .Thank you for everything."

"Okay, let me drive you home"

"No thanks, I will take a cab. You have done enough"

"At least give me your number so that we keep in contact now that we are in the same city."

"Sure."

That was the last I saw Leila till now. In the same night she packed everything and took a flight to Chicago.

Since that day I was relieved that Christian was not gay. But now there was another question that why did he keep his girlfriend as a secret and made her sign the NDA? Maybe she was another play toy for him and he didn't want the unnecessary attention from the media. This was a logical conclusion but I could not shrug off the feeling that there is something more to it. I tried to contact Leila but she ignored me blatantly. Last night I was seriously considering flying all the way to Chicago. But by today's turn of events I think I am going to find out by firsthand experience now. Though I do not like it at all I have to leave this one for chance.

My phone beeps interrupting my thoughts. _Ahh message from the devil himself!_

*I will pick you up at 7:00 pm. Be ready. We will have dinner at my place* _You instruct and do not offer me a choice. How true to your nature Mr. Grey. How about I play with you for some time?_

_*_Mr. Grey, What if I say I have some other plans tonight and maybe we can do this some other time?*

*Don't toy with me Miss Steele. It will be unhealthy for you. And you promised me your company tonight. Cancel your plans if you have any. Plus don't you want your reward?*

*Relax! I was just pulling your leg. Do you want me to go "chill-pill" on you again. ;) ...haha...Will it make you happy to know that I am more than desperate to collect my trophy? It better be good.*

* More than happy, Miss Steele. My blood is already rushing to the right places preparing for tonight...;)*

_Oh god...how direct!..Seriously..does money gives you the power to speak dirty with any woman you want even if you met her only once?_

*Sleazeball*

*Another first Ms. Steele, nobody has ever dared to call me that. For your information I meant my heart when I said the right place. But you have my approval to keep your interpretation of my words. In fact I like it more. I will see you at 7.*

_God! Since the time I have met this guy he has only managed to embarrass me..._ _I better start getting ready for tonight. It will be quite a challenge. I have only 4 hours left._

Its quarter to 7 now and I am nearly done. My limbs are freshly waxed. Eyebrows neatly plucked. Kate did a great job with my hair. She made a side-puff and curled the ends. I am wearing a short black dress with lacy long sleeves and bare back. I have minimal make-up on, highlighting mainly my eyes with thick layers of eye liner and mascara. My lips are ruby red. I am wearing 6 inch high heels which will make me reach till Christian's nose who is 6'3.

Dot on time the bell rings. As soon as I opened the door Christian's mouth fall open and he looks like a lost kid in an island._ Let the countdown begin..1..2..3..4..5..._ He then shrugs his head and regains his composure to gives me the sexiest smile that I have seen in my entire life. Even if I take classes for months I will not be able to reach that level of sexiness. He looks at me from top to bottom just like the way he had done at the restaurant. His eyes darkening more and more with each inch of mine he takes in._ Yes Mr. Grey it's your turn to get bewitched. Why don't YOU obsess over ME for a change?_

"Where is my sweet & cute Ana and who are you?" Christian asks with a slight pout, teasing me.

"Sorry Mister, she does not live here anymore. I am Anastasia. Would you like to come in?"

"You have to be punished for driving my Ana away. You beguiling Goddess!" He picks me up in his hands and carries me in his shoulder.

"Help ! Help! this man is kidnapping me" I shout loudly near his ear. He shrugs his shoulder and spanks my ass hard. _What the hell!_

"Miss Steele you cannot escape anywhere. YOU. BELONG. TO. ME. TONIGHT."

_Goodness...This man will devour me like a monster. What did I get myself into!_

He carries me towards his car where his head of security Jason Taylor is standing stoically. On seeing us he opens the back door. Christian gently drops me in the back seat and climbs after me.

"Escala" he orders Taylor. He then looks at me intensely while I try my get back my sexy stance which apparently got lost when he carried me like a child.

"Ana, did I tell you that you look beautiful tonight" he says with the same innerving intense look on his face.

Hearing his compliment my head goes down and I blush deeply. He holds my chin and pushes my head up forcing me to _look_ at his gray eyes.

"Thank you. You are looking great too" I manage to whisper.

_I never had problems with people complimenting me. What is it with this man?,, Making me blush like a teenager!_

"Ana, tell me did you grow up here in Seattle?" _Hah! As if you don't know already. Did your private detective not collect that bit of info for you. In second take, Mr. Grey wasting his time in small talks. How rare is that!_

"No. In Montesano"..._Will two play the same game Mr. Grey? Should I ask you a question whose answer I already know?_

"Tell me more about yourself?" Grey asks quickly not letting me question him.

"Nothing much of interest, Christian. I work as a lab assistant in UW Medical College now. I did my schooling in Montesano. I got my medical degree from Harvard Medical University. I was a scholarship student."

"Did you not apply for internship?"

"I joined internship too but left in mid-term because my mother had an accident and I had to look after her. After her recovery I never joined back." I blurt out as fast as possible.

"Why?"

"When I saw my mother in so much pain it scared me. I could not stay calm and always panicked near her. A doctor should be in control near a patient. I realized I could not deal with such situation. So I left."

Christian's eyes softened. He looked like he wanted to say something but cannot find the right words. _No no no the last thing I want is your pity._ To ease him of this discomfort I quickly change the topic.

"Now it's your turn Mr. Grey. I want each and every detail of your wonderful life. Kindly start from the second you were born"

"It's not wonderful Anastasia its fucked up" Christian replies curtly. _Oh! this was unexpected. _

"Lets go, we have reached."

Taylor opens the door for me and I climb out. Christian still seem to be in a gloomy mood. I suddenly have a strong desire to see the playful Christian again. I want to wipe out the grief reflecting on his face. We enter the elevator.

"Christian"..I call him softly, not sure of how to bring him back to me.

"Ana" he whispers more to himself than to me. He takes my hand and kisses it softly. I shiver at his touch. Firework literally sparks in the air between us. He again looks at me in the only way that he can, from top to bottom and then back up to my eyes. _He is back. Those darkened gaze have returned with full force this time._

The elevator opens and hand in hand we enter Escala. _Goodness it is really huger than it looks in photos._ _I always wanted to ask him why everything seems so metallic and uniform?. Why there is not much color to give it more homely feel instead of making it look like some work place? Is home not suppose to be that place where you have no care and worry of the world. The only place you feel safe. Maybe I will ask later when I have seen more in real than in photos._

Gail, his housekeeper come to greet us.

"Ana, this is Gail my housekeeper" Christian introduces us. _I already know Mr. Grey. Especially after my mistake with Elliot this afternoon I went through all the photos I collected to not repeat it again. My memory is completely refreshed._

"Hello Gail, nice to meet you." I give her a hug. Both Christian and Gail are taken aback by what I did. _Keep yourself in the good books of the staff. You never know when you will need them._

"Nice to meet you too Ana" Gail replies sounding slightly shocked.

"Dinner is ready and table is set" Gail chirps in excitement. _Mr. Grey hardly brings any guests back home. This must be one of those rare occasions for Gail to do something special._

_"_Dinner first and then I will give you a tour of my place" Christian suggests.

"Ok Sir"

We take our seats in the dining hall. Christian sits opposite to me. Gail serves the dishes. It smells delicious.

"Christian what do you do with rest of the time when you are not running a multi -Billion Dollar Company? Like do you have some kind of hobby? _Great. Now is the time to impress with my skills_

" I like flying my helicopter and scuba -diving sometimes. Basically anything I can do to escape the land."

"That's great even I am into flying and scuba diving. In fact I recently joined flying classes. I know these are expensive hobbies but this is how I prefer to spend my hard earned savings. I would love to explore the different realms of this planet. But my number 1 hobby is writing." _ Will you ever find out the real reason why I took those lessons?..Most likely.. never._

"What do you like to write about?"

"I like writing fiction"

"Any particular genre?"

"Yes. Erotica". Christian's drops his spoon in surprise. _Mission accomplished. Now you will never forget me Mr. Grey. I am sure Welch did not give you this piece of information because I had never been brave enough to give my work for publishing._

"Anastasia Rose Steele you have once again managed to take me by surprise. You have been most unexpected."

Dinner goes in bliss. I am walking in cloud 9 right now. He has slightly opened up to me. That's a small progress. He is explaining me the business deal he did today with a Saudi Arabian company with great fervor. I am so proud of myself that I can keep up with him. Thank you all those business management classes where I busted my ass at.

After dinner is over we shift to the living room. I take a seat in one of the huge sofa. Christian comes and joins next to me.

"So tell me Ana, did you like it when I spanked your ass in your apartment earlier tonight?" Christian asks me with a wicked grin.

_What the fuck! How am I suppose to answer that? What does he expect? If he is not happy with my reply then? He is the unexpected one here. My moves were rehearsed. Mercurial Grey. We were talking about Business sometime back ..where did this come from? _

"I am waiting for you answer Anastasia"

"It felt good." _Try and observe his expressions carefully, Ana. On the basis of that change your answer if you have to._

"Only good? A vital part of me felt more than that" his eyes move down at his lap.

_Oh my god! His erection is about to burst out of his pants. It's a freakin tent! Is it actually that big or his pants are making it appear that way?I cannot breathe anymore._

Suddenly he takes my hands and stands, making me jump out of the sofa.

"Let's go and deal with the fucking paper work, I cannot wait anymore" _What is he talking about? what paperwork?_

He drags me to his library and makes me sit in one of the chair.

"Ana I know you want me and you have right now seen how much I want you. Do you want to go ahead with this?' he asks huskily.

"Yes" I manage to whisper..._yes yes yes yes yes yes yes..._

He takes out some documents from his desk.

"You have to sign this non-disclosure agreement first. It is drafted by my lawyers. I like to protect my personal life." _Here it all starts. Why is Leila's crying face popping in my mind right now?_

I take the NDA from him and read once.I had already been acquainted with this before and knew what it held's. I quickly sign it. He takes the signed document away.

"Ana now you are legally bound to never disclose anything about what I am going to tell you now to any other person. You have read the consequences if you fail to do so. "Christian instructs me like an army officer.

I simply nod my head not knowing what else to do.

"I have a very particular taste when it comes to sex. Are you aware about BDSM lifestyle?" _What the hell...After working so hard for months now you throw this on me Mr. Grey...What do I know about BDSM? I am an innocent virgin for god sake. I had only recently read a best- selling fictional novel on BDSM. That's how I just have a hint about it._

"I only have a faint idea about it. I don't know much" I stutter

"I am only into that kind of lifestyle Miss Steele. I am a dominant and I need a submissive. I do only contractual relationship. It is consensual and the hard and soft limits are drafted on the contract which is mutually agreed and signed. And..."

Christian stops when he sees my reaction. Blood is drenched from face. I have gone ghostly pale. _Great! Billions of people in the world and only Christian Grey has to be into this kind of bull shit..Lord are you testing me? Whatever I had done till now was that not enough that you are sending another gigantic obstacle? _

"Ana, are you all right? Do you need some water?" Christian asks looking concerned.

I gulp visibly on hearing him.

"Ana, did I scare you? This was not the way I wanted to address this issue. I don't know what came over me. We will talk about all this some other day okay. Just calm down." Christian tries to come near me but I stop him.

"I am okay Christian. Please continue. I would like to hear more about it. In fact I am intrigued" _I don't have any other option. This is the only type of relationship he wants. If I play along now maybe I can convince him to change his mind later...Or Bruises and red marks are waiting for you in near future Ana dear. _

On hearing me Christian stops in middle. Expression of pained and anger washes over him at the same time like he is in some kind of internal war with himself. I immediately feel guilty.

"Christian, I am sorry for how I reacted. I am all right now .Please Do not blame yourself. I would like to discuss the contract now." I hold his hands in reassurance.

"I am going out of town tomorrow. I will be back in two days. Use that time to research more on this lifestyle and thoroughly read the contract. We will then discuss your hard and soft limits and whether you want to make any changes in the rules."Christian says with a stoned face.

"Ok, I will do that."... _Is it the right time to tell him I am a virgin?Maybe if I make it sound like a very important asset he might even go gentle on me or possibly even reconsider the type of relation he wants with me! _

"Christian I have to tell you something" I give him my brightest smile.

"Yes?" he looks at me quizzically

I go near him and place my head on his shoulder like the words I am about to utter is too precious and meant only for his ears. He embraces me in his arms.

"I am a virgin" I try and whisper seductively.

"A fucking virgin!...what the fuck!"


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey Readers. Thank you for your supports. I really cherish it with all my heart. This is a pivotal chapter in Christian and Ana s relationship. Enjoy reading. Share your thoughts in the reviews**.

Chapter 4

Fucking virgin! What the fuck!

Christian roughly pulls me out of his embrace. He paces up and down in anger, vigorously running his hand over and over his copper gray hair. He is muttering something to himself which I can't decipher. By the looks of it I will never want to know. Suddenly he stops and looks straight through me. Gone is the Playful Christian, Laughing Christian, Caring Christian, Sexy Christian, Humane Christian I have come to know and in his place is a pure green- eyed monster. He looks at me with so much vice that my core trembles. He is like the gale and I am a tiny blade of grass that gets shaken to it's roots by the passing wind. Violence is oozing from his every pore and I instinctively look away. We are now in a prey and predator zone. He is going to attack me soon if I don't defend myself.

_This is not how I thought he would react. What is wrong with him? Is being a virgin, crime these days? Are virginal beings a trigger for the beast inside him which is fighting to burst out now? What do I do?_

"Anastasia, GET OUT!" he spits out with gritted teeth and points towards the door.

I feel like I have been slapped and coats of tears invades my eyes._ Oh you treacherous lacrimal gland!...I do not want to look weak near him. What great wrong have I done? I thought he would react completely the opposite. How could I analyse something so wrong?...take deep breathe...I have to handle this with care before it blows out of proportion._

"Christian please calm down. There is nothing to get so angry about. What's the problem? Please tell me."

"Shut your fucking mouth before I break it." Christian's palm twitches like it has a life of its own.

_Bloody hell! Mr. Grey you have struck the wrong chord. Being patient is not my forte too._

"You wanna break my mouth huh!...DO IT..I am not one of your sick submissive who will allow you to treat them like a garbage dump okay!...I didn't expect you to be this mortified on finding out. In fact I thought you would feel happy and privileged" I scream with a cracked voice, tearing up on the last part.

"Anastasia Rose Steele get the fuck out of here before I lose my control ..."He grabs my arms tightly and throws me outside the library. I fall down on the floor by his sheer force.

I am hurt and humiliated in a way I never thought was possible for me to feel. In this short life of mine I have always defended myself from the barbarous ways of this world. Forming a shield around my heart and never allowing there words and actions to get me. This man who I have met now for less than 24 hours have penetrated my shield, cracked it from all corners leaving me here naked and wounded.

"You don t want virgin Mr. Grey..Next time we meet I will make sure I am not one anymore." I spit out sarcastically in a last attempt to save my dignity.

One look at him and I know my life is over. If hell does exist then it is personified in front of me right now. The green-eyed monster cowers to the corner and the Devil arrives on Earth. His eyes turn blood- shot and fire flares from his nostrils. He looks threateningly at me and my spine shivers uncontrollably as waves and waves of chills attack me.

"I warned you yet you defied me. You have asked this for yourself, Anastasia" he says with a dangerous edge in his voice.

He walks away furiously to another room with long strides. My mind is blurred and I cannot think clearly. I do not get up from the floor. Then I see him come out with something on his hand. On second look, realization dawn on me and my heart practically stops beating. For the first time in my life I am scared...really scared of a man...scared as shit for my hopeless life.

"I am going to punish you now" Christian declares waving the menacing steel cane he brought.

He pulls me off the ground and takes me by his knees. In the back of my mind a small voice urges me to tackle him and save my life but my body betrays me. It s like I have lost complete control over it. He picks up the hem of my dress and rips off my panties exposing my naked ass.

"Each time I am going to hit you I am going to tell you the fucking reason why you deserve it. I want you to count" he commands.

"You dress up like a seductress and tease me misleading me to believe that you are experienced but in fact you nothing but a fucking virgin"

"Aaaargggggghh .. one..." I scream my lungs out.

Sting of a cane can leave you senseless. You cannot see, hear, taste, smell or feel anything...except for the pain. It swallows your entire being. I want to laugh at myself now. If I thought I knew pain earlier than it was nothing comparing to this. It reduces you to such low that you would do anything to avoid feeling it again. I try to find my voice to beg Christian to have mercy on me but he starts again.

"You want to talk about being submissive when you have no fucking clue about sex at all...mind fucking clueless"

"Aaaaaarrrggghhh..two .."

_If he continues this torture my ass will break into two half. How can he do this to me? Does he have no sympathy at all?..I don t think I will be able to get over this.. ever...You are fucking gonna pay for this Grey...one day..._I cry loudly, tears flooding my face.

"You dare to threaten me to lose your virginity to some other fucker. Get this straight Anastasia you are only mine"

He gives me the hardest blow without holding anything back. It's like I am not human but just a scrape of stubborn metal that needs straightening out. Even the blacksmith will not do this on a piece of metal, much less on human. The pain is unbearable. I cannot even bring myself to scream the count. Daylights are fading and I think I am losing consciousness.

_Lord, are you sending me to hell for my evil sins? I heard you were forgiving and kind. Was it not you who said that if the intentions are pure then sometimes the action can be overlooked. I have always relied on that for your mercy. Please take me away with you. Do not leave me with the devil._

I feel him picking me up and laying me down on a bed. He covers me with blanket. I shut my eyes tightly. I do not want to see. My spirit is completely broken.

An aching pain wakes me up. It s morning. I was knocked out the whole night long. I look around the room wanting to drive away the sunlight hitting my eyes. I then realize that I am in Christian's room. I had seen a picture before. Last night comes back to me in a click. My hair stands on its end and I feel very dirty. _I have to get out of this place fast and take a shower. The irony is not lost on me. Even before I could get a kiss from the man I had been wanting for so long I get punished and treated like a whore...His accusations were like venom adding salt to my wound...Stop it! Block such thoughts before you have reached your safe haven, Steele. This is the only control you have now._

On the bedside table there is a glass of water and advil. I climb out of the bed as fast as my sore back would allow. I do not touch the tablets. I will buy my own on my way back home. Somebody has changed me into T- shirt and PJ s. I will not allow myself to even wonder about the possibilities of who could have done that. My clothes are neatly folded and placed in a chair beside the bed. I quickly change. I go to the bathroom and splash cool water on my face. Roughly fixing my hair with my hand I am now more than ready to escape this den of torture. I just wish he has left for work and I don t have to bear another meeting. I quietly sneak out of the room.

"Ana, you are leaving?" Christian sees me just before I was few steps away from the main door.

I do not reply. I straighten my back and force myself to look up despite the pinching pain in my entire lower limb and backside. I determinedly walk towards the exit avoiding his burning glare. Just before stepping on the other side of the door my throat burns with the sting of tears. One night...Only one night I have lasted. Everything seems ridiculous now. Stupid time did not play a vital role in turning the tables around. In the blink of an eye something which started so well have ended disastrously. Before I could stop myself, I turn around for final words.

"Thank you Christian for the reward" In spite of my planning to say this sarcastically it came out as a meek whine. My emotions choked me.

"Oh Ana!..."

In two long strides Christian reaches me and his lips crashes against mine. He kisses my lips gently as if asking for forgiveness. I desperately want to kiss him back but I stop myself. It feels wrong. It will send him a message that he can beat the daylights out of me and I will forgive him if he satisfies my sexual needs like I am one of his fucking submissive. He senses my hesitation and pushes me against the wall. _Aah! It hurts_ .He feels my discomfort and cups my sore back, shielding it from the wall. He now kisses me possessively trying to get his tongue inside me but I do not open my mouth. My libido is awakened begging me to submit but my rational self prevents me. I know I have to pay a heavy price if I submit now. One, I will easily forgive him right here, right now . Two, my feelings will get involved and I would want more and that canNOT happen. With whatever little strength I have left I weakly push him away from me. For a moment Christian looks shock and then his expressions change to that of anger. I had seen the monster and devil yesterday. None of them makes a comeback now. This anger is different. This anger is out of pain.. rejection.. fear.

He turns his back at me and walks few steps back. His left hand is pulling his hair furiously like he wants to take his brains out. His right hand is shaking uncontrollably. He picks up a glass of scotch from the table and suddenly he throws it with so much force that it hits the wall right next to me and breaks into thousand pieces. Reflexively I scream and cover my face with my hands to protect myself from the glass splinters.

Following my reaction there is a deathly silence. None of us move an inch. I put my head down not being able to look at him. I stand there as still as I can be trying to collect my quickened breath. After few minutes I slowly move outside the room and head towards the elevator. I do not look back to see if Christian is following me.

I jump into the first cab I could find. Not being able to control my overwhelming emotions anymore I burst out crying once I am inside the safety of the cab... _I am a failure...I cannot do this ..How can I hurt a man anymore who is already so deeply scarred?...why did I agree to this in the first place when I knew about his traumatic childhood?...when did I become so selfish?.._

I take out my phone from the purse and dial a number.

"Jose, I cannot do this anymore...Not even for all the money in the world..."

"Ana, what happened now? Why are you crying?...


	5. Chapter 5

**Dearest readers, I wanted to update this chapter several days back but real life got in the way. It can be really cruel sometimes. However I took a time out today and managed to update ...**  
**Enjoy reading!**

Chapter 5

"Jose, I cannot do this anymore...Not for all the money in the world..."

"Ana, why are you crying? What happened now?...

"I don't know...I never expected...I thought...what's with him?"...I blabber

"Please calm down Ana, I cannot make out what you are speaking."

"Jose I am so sorry...I am not capable to do this. I can't explain this through phone right now. But I am not doing this anymore."

"Okay, I am coming to you with the first flight available. Take deep breath and don't make any kind of decisions yet. Don't worry I am here for you."

"Thanks Jose. I will talk to you later."

_Why did I allow Christian to treat me like that? Something was surely wrong with him but what the hell was wrong with me? All my life I have defended myself..Always thought about my own protection first...Never gave in to anyone's demands...Was a Mistress of my own life...Always considered myself to be a strong-headed lady...Pathetic! How a single incident have proved my entire life to be based on a big fat lie I invented myself!...NO I will not go into a pity party. I will take control._

ANGER...that's what I choose to feel right now. I will not allow myself to be ruled by any other emotions that are right now tearing each other apart in a fight to make an appearance. My mind is attacking me with all types of questions that I can't even begin to comprehend without breaking down and wailing like a new born baby. I will dominate with ANGER. It had always been a great tool while growing up. Why not use it now too?

I am ANGRY at Christian for being a mental retard who invites a girl who he has just met and then beats the shit out of her for nothing. I am ANGRY at all those staff who I met at Christian s place. They all smiled warmly at me while being introduced. Where were they when I was crying my lungs out in pain? Is there not something in this world called humanity?...I am ANGRY at Jose to even come up with this stupid idea. How could he even think that a girl like me will break down this lifetime celibacy vow Mr. Grey seemed to have taken...If only we knew the truth then, such an absurd idea would never have struck Jose and I would not have gone along with it. But above all I feel ANGRY at myself...my mother brought me up with so much care and affection. She groomed and molded me to become an independent, wise and tough woman like her. And what do I give her in return? Throw away the girl she had worked so hard upon like a...

"Madam. We have reached." The cab-driver breaks my flow of thoughts.

I put on some make-up before I climb out. No need to put up a show of damsel in distress for the entire colony. Somebody should submit my video for the show America's funniest videos. I deserve to be laughed at.

_Okay, Steele. Nobody is waiting for you behind the closed doors of your apartment. It s now only you and your thoughts. No Jose or Cab drivers to interrupt you both. You are too tired to think about the.. why? How? What? right now..Go and sleep. There is nothing in this world that good sleep cannot cure. Do not allow your emotions to succumb you. You can do better than that._

I pay the cab driver and drag myself towards my building. Despite the pep talk I had given myself the loneliness that my apartment greets me with worsens my condition. All my anger dissipates in vain. I cannot hold back anymore. I am deeply hurt. It was a shock to my system that left me with scars so deep that I fear it can never be healed. I sit down on the floor of my living room and howl my heart out. Just a few seconds memory of that torture is enough to torture me for a lifetime. _Mr. Grey you have punished me just like the way you wanted. I have become a prisoner of my own self. My own mind will haunt me, now that you are not here to do that. Above all I will always be Punished._

I don't know for how long I sat there crying. I then somehow managed to crawl to my bed room. I take sleeping pills and Angel Sleep saves me as soon as I hit the sack. I do not want to come back. Ever.

I am into a peaceful dreamless sleep when I hear music and bells ringing. It sounds distant and keeps playing non-stop. First the bell rings for a long time and then loud thuds like somebody is banging the door. It is then followed by my favourite song. The cycle continues. _Is this how music is played in heaven?...ANASTASIA!..Sleepy- head its no heaven. It's your phone ringing and somebody is at the door...hmmhmm...Let them be.. Even prince's kiss will not wake me up._

I go into my second round of sleep.

After several hours my eyes open. It is dark. I feel somebody is sitting at the edge of my bed. I look down and..

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!"

"Ana, it's me. I am so sorry I did not mean to scare you. I did not want to disturb your sleep by switching on the lights."

"What the fuck you think you are doing Christian?! How did you enter my apartment?! How dare you even show me your face!..Are you not satisfied by beating me black and blue? Do you want to molest me now!..Fucking sadist!..Monster..Son of the devil!"

I pick up whatever comes in my hand from the bed- side table and blindly throw at him. It is dark and I only wish I am aiming right. His silhouette stands like a statue not blocking the things flying towards him. Now I wish to hurt him real bad.

"Ana, please stop you are going to hurt yourself. Please put down the scissor."

"You think I am so naive to hurt myself over a psycho retard like you. With that I throw the scissor towards him. He does not move. Unfortunately it hits his belly."

Ana I know I don't deserve to be forgiven but please hear me out once...

"You know you don t deserve then for the sake of god 'GO' ...Do you want me to call the police? Do you want me to press charge against you for physical abuse?. I cry out loudly. Treacherous tears trying to flood my face but this time I tame it."

"Ana...

"NO! STOP IT. I don't want to see you, hear you or even get a whiff of your smell. All it does is remind me of the pain you so happily inflicted on me. So kindly do me a favour and do not come near me ever again."

"Ana, do you seriously mean that?". He sounds wounded. I cannot see his expressions but I don't care. I just know that there is something repulsive near me and I have to run away from it as far as possible.

"Yes I mean that." I say with a dagger across my heart.

He walks away from the room. I want to follow him and check how did he get entry in my locked apartment but I feel too tired. The whole exchange has sucked all my energy. I close my eyes.

"No! Please don't hit me. I have not done anything wrong. Show some mercy please. Somebody hellllllllllllllllllpppp! "..I get up with a jolt.

"Ana, its all right it was just a nightmare". I feel somebody hug me tightly. My whole body is drenched with sweat. I am trembling out of fear.

"shhsshh..Ana don't cry...I am here for you. It was just a bad dream. The person lovingly pats my back.

I take deep breathe to calm myself and break the hug. I cannot make out the face properly in the dark so I turn on the bed side light.

"Oh! Gail. What are you doing here? I am so sorry about that."

"Mr. Grey sent me here to look after you".

"To look after me or to snoop on me?" I say sarcastically.

"I am not here to snoop on anyone. I am here to take care of you .Please have this soup now which I made for you". Gail says pleadingly.

"I can take care of myself."

"No you can't. I will be here till you are perfectly healthy again" she says sternly.

Where were you when I was undergoing the trauma which made me unhealthy in the first place? I want to accuse her but I control myself. I can't just jump into conclusions like this. Maybe she was actually not there when everything happened or she values her job more than a person's life. I will ask her some day. But now I have to take one day at a time... and today I do need somebody to take care of me at least till Jose comes. I cannot do everything alone.

"Okay Gail. I will allow you to stay here but under one condition that I will pay you for your services." I say with stern tone like hers.

"But Mr. Grey will not... I cut her in between.

"And my second condition is that you will never utter his name under my roof. Now it's your choice to stay or leave."

Gail nods her head in agreement. "I choose to stay. Ms. Steele, Dr. Brown is awaiting in the living room. He would like to come in and check on you."

"No Gail..I do not want Mr. Grey's services...

"You can pay him too" she says quickly and leaves the room before I could further protest.

_I cannot accept this. What kind of game is this? First mistreat and then try to retreat? No, Mr. Grey wounds so deep cannot be so easily washed away like this._

"Hello Ms. Steele"

"Hello Dr. Brown. You know I cannot...

"Yes Ms. Steele, Gail has already informed me about your conditions and yes I choose to stay too. If you want you can pay me double for my services." He jokes.

_Oh what the hell! I seriously am feeling too weak to fight anymore. On a second take I do need to visit the hospital. This will save me from that trouble. Its okay I will pay him too._

"Dr. Brown if I win a lottery during my recovery period then most happily I will pay you double." I joke back.

The Doctor does his check up. Thankfully there is no fracture. I hesitated to show him my bruised ass but finally gave in to his persistent request. Great! Now the whole world will know how the poor girl got bashed up by the billionaire. He prescribed me a bunch load of medicines and pain killers. He even suggested that I should visit a psychologist to get over and move on. I do not pay much heed to this. No psychologist can ever make any of this easy on me.

After several hours finally the doctor and Gail leaves me alone. They made sure that I ate my meal, took my medicines and even made me sleep in a comfortable position where it would hurt the least. Gail tucked me into bed like a child. They both acted like they were under a gun- shot order. They had to do everything right or it would me a matter of their life and death. Must be Christian's doing. But I am not complaining right now though. I like being pampered.

_Where is Jose? Why is he not here yet?...He said he would take the first flight available. I don t even know how many hours or days have passed since then. I think I should call him now._

I extend my hands to get hold of my phone. Gail had kept it in the bed-side table. She had also arranged back everything that I had thrown. My phone has turned off by itself as the battery has got exhausted. I put it on charge and switch it on.

OH MY GOD! I have 245 missed calls. By the looks of it all are from Christian Grey.

_Mr. Grey are you trying to impress me by this huge number? Is this suppose to melt my heart?...Shock?...Yes, you have managed to only shock me and nothing else. My mind was already set when I saw you with the cane in your hand. I will always stay as far from you as possible._

I take the same scissor which I had thrown at Christian and cut my sim card into two equal half._ This felt good!... One day with Mr. Sadist and I am already turning into one .If Jose does not reach by tomorrow morning I will call him from a phone booth._

I turn off the lights and try to get some sleep.

_Why did I allow him to hit me... Why?..._The answer for this is in the tip of my tongue but my system refuses to accept. My subconscious had known it all along just that the rest of me was acting ignorant. Since the moment I had agreed to trick Christian for his money I had felt guilty. If it was not a matter of life and death I would have opted out of it way before. I reasoned myself by saying that a person's life was much more important than those lifeless green notes. I always ignored the voice in the back of my mind that sneered at me ..._It's not only about the green notes...what about the fact that you are playing with a person's feelings and ... trust_?. However I managed to diminish my guilt and went ahead with the plans but it never left me. I took Christian's punishment not for the reason that I was a virgin but because of that guilt I had. Even though till then I had not taken a single penny from him and might not even have succeeded, my intentions were still evil enough to deserve the punishment.

However I cannot accept that he punished me so cruelly for reasons that were completely different than mine. For reasons that any sane person will laugh if he gets to hear about it. If he can do this to any person much less to a person whom he had met for about 2 minutes then it is completely unacceptable.

He is unacceptable.

I doze off with these horrid thoughts in my mind.

I wake up at the middle of the night.I hear somebody entering my room. _Am I dreaming_?..Then the person moves within my visual field and I can see the shadow. It's a man.

"Christian I told you not to show me your face again."

I jump out of the bed and start clawing him with my nails and biting his neck with my teeth. I am too mad right now to think rationally. This man has no respect for limits. My vampire moves should finish him.

"Aaaahhh! Ana it s me Jose!..stop it!"

"Oh! Jose I am so sorry.." I thought it was Christian.. With that my blows turn into hugs and I hug him tightly with everything I have. Jose is here. My home is here.


	6. Chapter 6

**Tralalalalalalalalaa**

**Two chapters a day,**

**After such a long delay,**

**Makes me happy and gay!**

**Tralalallalalalalalalala...Enjoy reading.**

Chapter 6

Nights have passed…Days have passed…. Summing up to exact three weeks since I had met Christian in that hell of a night. As yet I have not managed to forget even a single minute of it. He has not allowed me to. Everywhere I turn there are crumbs of trail all leading towards him. Seeing Gail and Dr. Brown everyday does not help at all. Either it is one of those expressions or a quirky remark by the doctor, everything smells _Grey_. Maybe I am getting paranoid after staying locked in this place for too long.

Flowers have been coming every day. All from him. My treatment towards it changes with my mood of the day. Sometime I literally stomp on it and kick it out of my sight like a soccer ball. While other days I feel like making the best of the situation I have got and the lucky bunch of flowers get to meet my vase. The first few days I had tried to send it back through the delivery guy but was a complete failure. Looks like no one can compete with the _Grey_ influence. He has also been sending notes along with the flowers. I have not read a single one out of 21 of them. I initially thought of disposing it for good but in the end did not have a heart to do it. We are all humans after all.

If all these were not enough, there is also a car along with driver and security waiting outside only for my services. This is one of the many reasons why I have not stepped outside of my apartment. I also got the news last night that apparently Mr. Grey has also brought the entire building where my apartment is situated. As if I was not feeling claustrophobic and suffocated enough. This piece of information has actually made me draw solid decisions. The idea was there in my mind for quite some time but I don't know why I was lingering that thought. The first thing I do tomorrow is pack my life in Seattle. The reason I had got here has turned out to be a total failure so there is no more need to stay. There are more pressing situations that need my attention than weeping uselessly in every corner of this place. All the dreams of a high- end life I used to have as a child seem to have fulfilled now with all the services Mr. Grey is offering in my platter. But there is a major difference. There is deal- breaker scene. I took a mind- fucking beating for this.

Funnily, just like the way I had asked him or more honestly screamed at him Christian has not shown his face to me. Not that I was expecting him to anyway. In fact I was relieved the first few days. Then my brains kicked in and I started getting curious. If he does not want to see me then what's with all the flowers and notes and lovey-dovey stuff? He does not look like a man who would waste time doing all this without some kind of profit involved for himself. Is he feeling guilty and really wants my apology? Why does he even care? There are plenty of submissives out there who would more than happily get canned by him in the name of pleasure. He is just too enigmatic for my liking. I cannot figure this man out and it is driving me crazy. It will be easier if I just read his notes but I cannot guarantee about the mess I will put myself in. I know for sure, emotions really extreme will attack me and I am not in a state to be able to bear another round of those.

Jose had been a good brother. He has never failed to take care of me since that fateful day I had joined the family. We are so much in sync that no one would have guessed that we were adopted siblings if not for the tell tale appearance that we beget by birth. He had stayed for a week and had asked me to come back to Montesano with him but I refused. I was too scattered to pick myself up this soon. I sent him off after heavy persuasion and with heavy heart.

"Ana, somebody named Dr. Filch is here to see you. He is waiting in the sitting room"

"Coming right up, Gail". I smile warmly at her. She is the best thing that came out of this entire ordeal.

_Who is this person now? God no more drama please. I have had enough._

I enter the sitting room and see a grey-haired fatherly figure standing there.

"Hello Anastasia, I am Dr. Filch" He gives his hands forward for a shake. It is a firm one.

"Hello Doctor to what do I owe you the pleasure of this visit?"

"I am Christian's therapist." Huh?. _Why is he here? Did something happen to Christian?_

"Well first thing first, I would like to come clean. Please do not mind my bluntness. I know about what took place between you and Christian" he says looking unsure.

_Bloody hell! Now I am the news of the town. Just not the way I imagined my rise to stardom_

I stare at him impassively. Despite all that took place between us I expected at least that Christian would not go on announcing about it.

"Okay go on. I would like to avoid further embarrassment by asking how in the world you know about it." I spit out with seething anger. _Cheeky bastard._

"I am sorry Anastasia, Christian did not tell me about it. I saw in the security cameras fixed at Escala. Believe me I would not have if it was not an absolute necessity. That's why I have come here to discuss about this. Please let us sit"

_So he saw the live action. If there is any level higher than embarrassment I am suffering that right now._

We take our seats.

"So before we start you should know that Mr. Grey is not aware about the conversation that will be taking place between us right now. I know I am breaking the golden rule of patient-doctor relationship but I also know I am doing the right thing. I do not want to repeat the mistake I committed years ago that too with the same patient. Later if he wants to sue me for this I will gladly give myself in. Do not worry my child. You will not be harmed by this. I will take the entire responsibility on my head."

I start to hyperventilate mentally. _What is all this about? Do I want to get involved? _

"This is out of protocol in my field of practice but Anastasia I have come here to ask you for your help. It concerns Christian's well-being. Are you willing to listen to it?" He looks at me with those eyes you just know instinctively has so much experience behind it.

I nod weakly. Staying in the dark after so much of foreplay will be rejected by my entire system.

"When Christian was 13 years old he was sent to rehab centre. He was a serious drug abuser. Doctors there diagnosed him with severe bi polar disorder within few months of his admission. One usually mistakes bi polar disorder to be associated only with mood swings but it is not only that. It is a complex disease. A patient suffering from it mainly experiences two phase i.e Manic phase and Depression phase. In Manic phase the patient may feel highly energetic, restless, euphoric. They also become very talkative and seem to be in a very good mood all the time. In depression phase the patient suffers from low self-esteem, self-loathing, long spells of depression. They may become violent and irritable. They may also have insatiable sex drive. Anti-depressants do not work on them. Bi polar patient also have more suicidal tendency than those suffering from only from depression."

He pauses for a breathe of air.

"God knows how but Christian came out clean from the rehab centre after a year. He was now under the medication for bi-polar disorder but it was not of much help. He would still find himself having unpredictable mood-swings. Some day he would be so enthusiastic that he would befriend any stranger on the side of the street. Other days he would shut himself from the world completely. Anybody trying to approach him during this period receives his cruel and cutting jabs, and often gets punched. He would switch from one phase to another frequently, each time shaking his soul more than the last. He would get into violent fights with other boys of his class repeatedly. In more than one occasion he raised his hands against his teacher and got expelled for it. He had grown such a reputation that school' s refuse to admit him despite him being a 'Grey'. His parents got for him a home tutor. One day he went missing from his home for the entire day. His family got frantic. They called the police and the whole night the search party assigned looked for him in every nook and corner of the city but in vain. In the morning he returned with fractured hands and spit lips. That's when Dr. Grey finally raised her hands up and brought him to me.

At first Christian tolerated me only to appease his mom. But after months of talking and more talking he finally agreed to put some effort to make progress. Along with the regular medication we tried out different exercise. We tried to harness his excessive energy during manic phase to productive use. He managed to focus it completely on school work after several trials and errors. This is one of the reason of his tremendous success at such a young age. The main problem we faced was when he would switch to his violent mode and depressive mode. We tried all kind of solutions but none gave a definite result. He would refuse to see me during one of those spells which made it more harder as I could not asses and analyze. But after some months of struggling Christian changed dramatically. He seemed to be in control now. His temperamental had improved drastically. I made several attempts to ask him about the roots of his magically changed ways but he never revealed. Only after my threaten to the 15 year old Christian that I would complain to his mother about my suspiciousness that he has got back into drugs that he finally confided. He was now into BDSM lifestyle.

It was an outlet for all the emotional roller coaster he goes through. He also used it to release his violent trait. I was completely abashed on hearing this piece of information. Who has heard about 15 year old living this dangerous life style which is unbearable even by many adults? I tried very hard to divert him from this path but he had made up his mind about it. That is when I made the huge mistake which I mentioned about earlier. I should have stopped him there and then. Or at least should have informed his mother about it. At that point of time I was myself not very much aware about the complexity of BDSM lifestye and how being a submissive would affect the mentality of a 15 year old. And it was positively aiding the progress of my patient so I became ignorant towards it. However there was always a guilty conscience in me so I tried and conditioned him to not give that much pain to his submissive that is beyond her limit. Basically I made him a dominant out of Sadist. He uses BDSM to deflate the initiation of a phase. In case it gets too much he locks himself up and avoid any contact with human. During his teens he use to destroy the entire room during his violent mode but it has stopped for many years now. I have tried and asked him many times about who introduced him to BDSM but he never reveals. He always refer her or him as the mentor. As for his other partners he describes them to me in detail when I ask but never revealing names. He is a very secretive person."

_I am numb by the intensity of information overload I have just received._

"It has been five years since Christian have come to my clinic. He has a complete control over his life now. Years have passed with no major incidence until three weeks ago. I never saw him transform that way even in the lowest period of his life. It was a complete new side of him. I don't know why he lost control like that or reacted the way he did with you. Only he can explain that. If you must know Christian has not gone to his office for the past three weeks. His bipolar symptoms are back with full force this time. He comes out only in the morning to give the note he has written to you to the delivery boy. Rest of the day he locks himself up in his library. 5 days back he has managed to destroy every inch of that room. All the books are either torn or burnt. All Furnitures and window panes are broken. He refuses to see his mother. He almost punched me when I tried to approach. Worst of all he refuses to take his medicine. I tried talking sense to him but he kept repeating* Ana hates me. She will never forgive me. You are a fucking retard.*

"Ana, I do not want to put this burden on you but I fear that he is showing suicidal tendency. As I have already told you that it is a major bipolar symptom. I am just requesting you to at least meet him once and give him the chance to explain himself or even ask for forgiveness. I have known him for a very long time. He is a good man who has endured a lot in his life. This one thing should not take away everything he has worked for. If anybody deserves a second chance, its him. You tell me is it too much that I ask for? Dr. Filch concludes with a pleading tone.

_I will be a cold-hearted bitch if I don't give him a chance._


	7. Chapter 7

**chapter 7**

"Sure doctor, I would like to give whatever help I possibly can"... It comes out as a stutter. I cannot figure out if my shiver is for the man whose I am sure less than quarter of darkness I have just been acquainted or for myself readying to plunge into deeper shades .Whatever maybe the case. Now is not the time to be afraid. I cannot just stand in the corner and let someone suffer when I have the power to make things better. In the matter of take and give, whole my life I have done the latter more. Why should now be any different? He is a patient. He would not have hit me so savagely if he was in the right state of mind. He needs help.

"Anastasia to ensure your safety I think even I should be present in the room along with you two. More preferably I feel it should be done in my clinic. In that way it will be a familiar setting for Christian and he will be able to maintain his control. I will tell him briefly that I went to convince you to forgive him and that you said that you will agree to talk to him only if you are secure about your safety."

"Okay doctor, whatever you think is the best."

"Will tomorrow be good? Because we have to get this over with as soon as possible. His condition is worsening with each passing day."

"Tomorrow is good."

"Okay then. Here is my card. Tomorrow 9 am in my clinic. Use tonight to mentally prepare yourself. Most likely he will apologize and give his explanation. That will be it. You can tell him that you have forgiven him which I believe you actually have." He raises a questioning brow at me.

"Yes doctor, without doubt I have."

"Anastasia I will never forget this favor. If ever you need anything my doors are always open for you. Me and Christian do not have a normal doctor-patient relationship. He is more like a son to me." He gives me a grateful smile.

I smile back. I cannot say anything in return. Words are not in my favour today. I was almost dumb during the entire interaction.

"I will take my leave now. Please do not hesitate to ask if you have any questions. And also if you decide to change your mind about the entire thing which I am desperately hoping you will not.

"Do not worry Doc. You can sleep soundly tonight."

He grins hopefully and leaves. I close the front door.

Since the moment Dr. Filch had started speaking coldness had wrapped my heart. Unreasonable coldness. It only kept dropping degrees with every sentence he spoke. I know sadness. It does not feel like this. I know pity. It does not feel like this either. This is an entire new thing which I cannot figure out and another thing related to Christian. I know far more than many still I feel I know nothing about him. This new coldness in me is neither repelling nor welcoming. It is just there and I cannot turn my face away from it.

The day passes away in a blur. It is night and I lie perfectly still in my bed. With every passing hour the cold gets colder. The nervous energy on seeing Christian again does not help a bit. All my cells are in complete alert. Sleep is in another galaxy altogether. When I am suppose to think, my brain does not function. I only feel. When it comes to Christian I should only feel and not think because I know my brains will behave irrationally.

The sun has come up and I automatically get up from my bed. I have not slept at all last night. Weirdly I do not feel dizzy or heavy-eyed. After 3 long weeks I feel refreshed and energetic. Physiology of our body can act funny sometimes. I shower quickly and get ready. Unlike last time I wear my least revealing dress. It is formal and comes with a jacket. I can't help but notice it has his eye color.

I reach the clinic sharp at 9:00am. I do not want the two anticipating men to keep waiting.

_Okay Steele you are going to cross the threshold now...Keep calm...Remember he is a patient. Try and put your best effort to make him feel less guilty. And don't forget he is an attractive brat who doesn't look sick at all, so that you won't be taken by surprise._

The receptionist leads me to Dr. Filch's office. I enter and I am not just surprised but shocked. There in a chair sits a man in an ill- fitted suit. The shirt is hanging loose revealing the amount of pounds he has lost. Despite his well-combed hair the huge dark circles beneath his eyes does not hide the fact that this man is broken inside out. My heart bleeds and bleeds on seeing him this way. Such a healthy and athletic figure turning to this in no time speaks a volume of silent stories. Circumstance due to no one's fault, neither his nor mine.

On seeing me both men stand. Dr. Filch first extends his hands towards me. He looks more nervous than even Christian and me combined. His love for him is unquestionable. After shaking hands with him I look towards Christian. He nods his head in acknowledgment followed by a smirk. _What is he smirking about? Isn't this supposed to be the situation where he apologizes and I forgive. Is he under the impression that it is the other way round. Oh my god! Is he thinking that I am intentionally wearing gray to impress him? ….Don't be paranoid Steele._

Thoughts of that dreadful night threaten to make a comeback but I control it.

"So finally you decided to grace me with your presence Miss Steele" he says sarcastically.

My mouth is about to twist and tongue unfurl with censored comments but again I control it. _Patience…Patient…Patience…Patient….Remember Steele.. Do not lose it._

"Yes Mr. Grey and I am glad that we have finally decided to talk and open up to each other." I reply politely.

"Oh Miss Steele I thoroughly miss the jabbing and curses I was greeted with last time. What's with the politeness? You do not have to act tamed in front of Dr. Filch here."

_Stay cool Steele….It's not him speaking it's his disease. Don't let his words get you. He does cares about you or at least respects you otherwise he would not have been here in the first place. Between you two you have to be the level headed one here. Maybe being rude is a kind of coping mechanism for him. Maybe to hide his vulnerability he has to show the darker side._

"It is a well-known fact Mr. Grey that when the mind is not in the right state, words spoken are not to be taken by heart. It is said impulsively and many a times it is the last effort to save one's dignity even if a little bit is left of that. It is more of a self- defense than an offense. Still if I have hurt you in any way by my words or action I sincerely apologize. "

I mean this.

Christian's face looks stunned for a second. It then softens excruciatingly and before I can pin point it turns into indecisiveness. It stays there for quite some time and then turns blank…It's like a foreign language now which I cannot decipher.

We remain quiet. Christian's harsh breathing is the only sound in the room. Dr. Filch seems non-existential. I try to soften down my own breathing. My heart beat is so slow like I am under anaphylactic shock.

After a long time Christian clears his throat.

"Anastasia Rose Steele, Let me tell you one thing: I am always in control. I have worked very hard my entire life to achieve this balance. To any other person it might seem like an easy thing to do but not for me. I battle it every day. After years I thought finally I have won the war and I am now like any other normal person but then you come along to prove this terribly wrong. Since the moment I met you I find this control is slipping through my finger. In the first few seconds you made me laugh without even intending to. You also made me talk about business. Two things I never do with outsiders. Then you made me offer you the contract. First I never offer any submissive, I am always provided with them and then they sign the contract. Secondly even if I do offer the contract to someone I would never have considered even in my wildest dream that I would offer it to anyone outside the lifestyle. I must say quite an achievement for a single night Ms. Steele. "

"When you first told me that you were a virgin I got really angry. It might seem like a lie right now but I speak with full honesty. I was only slightly upset with you for misleading me but I was more angry at myself. How could I introduce such an innocent, lovely, girl with full of life to my path of darkness? How could I be so much into my own needs that I completely misread you? These questions still haunts me."

He pauses. He puts his head in his hands and looks down.

"To tell you the truth I did not plan on even raising my voice at you let alone use a cane on you. At first my cruel words was more due to the anger I felt towards myself. But then you defied me and it awoke my inner beast. Someone I had buried years ago. After that I could not see you Anastasia. In your place it was my crack-whore mother and I had to punish her hard. The whole time I was hitting you, in my mind it was that bitch. Not you Ana…Not you…I do not know if it is appropriate to apologize because what I did is unforgivable. I would not do that to even my willing submissive let alone you. I don't deserve your kindness Anastasia. You are so brave to come here today. To face this monster despite all he has done. I want you to listen carefully and follow this, Ana. You are not supposed to allow anyone to touch or hit you against your wishes. You have to defend yourself. You have to shout for help. You have to call the police. Forgiveness does not heal you nor does vengeance. At least revenge will teach a hard lesson so as to never repeat. You can turn me in to the police if you want to. I will willingly surrender myself. "

With that he stops abruptly. He puts his head up and his piercing grey meets my crystal blue.

My eyes do not move away from his. I am not doing this. It is involuntary. Like Bees to Flower. River to Ocean. Soul to Soul.


End file.
